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Struggling with my faith has been and continues to be a constructive, if not always enjoyable experience for me. This life-long process has at times been attended by discomfiting anxiety as well as a genuine sense of serenity, making the word, “struggling”, quite appropriate.
In the early years of my faith development, the struggling was not so intense. Matters of faith were more settled in those days. The boundaries were more clearly marked, and the discussions of serious faith issues were limited, in both depth and breadth. The basic principles of faith(those fundamental concepts of Christian doctrine about who God is, the plan of redemption made possible through Jesus Christ, the Bible being God’s Holy Word, and the Holy Spirit’s work in the life of the individual and the church) were already established and were considered sufficient for that present time and circumstances.
But then there came that inevitable advent of life changes which presented some formidable challenges to my preparatory faith. The transition from the relatively secure surroundings of the elementary to the more expansive and yet unexplored regions of faith, required some considerable alterations in my thinking. Moving into a different and somewhat un-chaperoned environment of broader education, cultural diversity, and varied religious traditions, demanded that my faith parameters be stretched to greater limits.
My growing faith required that choices be made, and each choice became a learning experience. As I came to grips with more of life’s stark realities, I dared to ask, “Is my faith founded on something more durable than loyalty to my own system of beliefs?” And further, “Will my faith remain steadfast in the face of devastating poverty, debilitating diseases, ethnic hostility and hatred, and environmental calamity”? In truth, some answers have been more easily acquired than others. Some questions remain as I grapple with myths and certainties, still in quest of authentication. But, rather than being discouraged and inclined to consider my faith as invalid, I am developing a faith that consistently proves itself more substantial and reliable, even while waiting for validation. I am growing into what I would describe as “seasoned faith,” a faith confirmed through long-term life experience.
Essential to this process is the recognition and acceptance of a continual transformation. The Apostle Paul refers to this progression when he says, “When I was a child, I talked like a child; I thought like a child; I reasoned like a child. But when I became a man [adult] I put childish things behind me.” (1 Corinthians 13:11; N.I.V) Even so, my struggle continues. I do get caught up, now and again, in the fickle winds of circumstance. I vacillate between the extremes of childishness and maturity, and, in fact, more often than I would like to admit, I concede. Like those early disciples, I find it less strenuous to respond with childish immaturity than to choose the more arduous response of a seasoned faith. Childish faith concerns itself with immediate personal needs-the security of salvation; the tangible benefits of being in relationship with Christ; and the anticipation of having prayers answered in accordance with one’s own wishes. Seasoned faith, on the other hand, has been informed and disciplined by years of experience and is, therefore, more expansive in its vision, and more acclimated to long-term fulfillment with respect to God’s eternal purpose. Childish faith is preoccupied with self-interest and gratification. Seasoned faith expresses itself in gratitude.
Jesus’ question directed to his disciples about their faith, or lack there of, often rings in my ears as well. In that moment, I am called back into the sphere of understanding faith in the light of God’s redemptive and transformative intentions for all creation. Seasoned faith recognizes that while God loves and cares for me personally and intimately, I am not God’s only child. I do live in a larger world of vast and desperate needs. When I exercise my faith, selfishly, and insist that God give priority to meeting my needs, without regard to anyone else, whose needs may be far more desperate and urgent, that is, indeed, childish behavior. This is exactly the kind of childishness that I want to put behind me, and begin thinking about faith in its larger dimensions. Rather than thinking in terms of amassing greater and greater quantities of faith, my challenge now is to grow into a fuller and more dynamic understanding of faith.
The Hebrews 11:1 passage, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of things unseen,” is beginning to make more sense to me now. As I understand it, this is not so much a definition of faith as it is an acknowledgement of faith’s actuality. As I consider the actuality of faith, it occurs to me that my life, my humanity, my spirituality, my very being, are all wrapped up in relationship with God. From the beginning and all the way through, it is within the context of that relationship that my faith finds opportunity for expression.
Now, in my mind, my relationship with God and my faith in God are inseparable. I can no longer determine which came first, the relationship or the faith. But, perhaps that is as it should be with seasoned faith.
In the early years of my faith development, the struggling was not so intense. Matters of faith were more settled in those days. The boundaries were more clearly marked, and the discussions of serious faith issues were limited, in both depth and breadth. The basic principles of faith(those fundamental concepts of Christian doctrine about who God is, the plan of redemption made possible through Jesus Christ, the Bible being God’s Holy Word, and the Holy Spirit’s work in the life of the individual and the church) were already established and were considered sufficient for that present time and circumstances.
But then there came that inevitable advent of life changes which presented some formidable challenges to my preparatory faith. The transition from the relatively secure surroundings of the elementary to the more expansive and yet unexplored regions of faith, required some considerable alterations in my thinking. Moving into a different and somewhat un-chaperoned environment of broader education, cultural diversity, and varied religious traditions, demanded that my faith parameters be stretched to greater limits.
My growing faith required that choices be made, and each choice became a learning experience. As I came to grips with more of life’s stark realities, I dared to ask, “Is my faith founded on something more durable than loyalty to my own system of beliefs?” And further, “Will my faith remain steadfast in the face of devastating poverty, debilitating diseases, ethnic hostility and hatred, and environmental calamity”? In truth, some answers have been more easily acquired than others. Some questions remain as I grapple with myths and certainties, still in quest of authentication. But, rather than being discouraged and inclined to consider my faith as invalid, I am developing a faith that consistently proves itself more substantial and reliable, even while waiting for validation. I am growing into what I would describe as “seasoned faith,” a faith confirmed through long-term life experience.
Essential to this process is the recognition and acceptance of a continual transformation. The Apostle Paul refers to this progression when he says, “When I was a child, I talked like a child; I thought like a child; I reasoned like a child. But when I became a man [adult] I put childish things behind me.” (1 Corinthians 13:11; N.I.V) Even so, my struggle continues. I do get caught up, now and again, in the fickle winds of circumstance. I vacillate between the extremes of childishness and maturity, and, in fact, more often than I would like to admit, I concede. Like those early disciples, I find it less strenuous to respond with childish immaturity than to choose the more arduous response of a seasoned faith. Childish faith concerns itself with immediate personal needs-the security of salvation; the tangible benefits of being in relationship with Christ; and the anticipation of having prayers answered in accordance with one’s own wishes. Seasoned faith, on the other hand, has been informed and disciplined by years of experience and is, therefore, more expansive in its vision, and more acclimated to long-term fulfillment with respect to God’s eternal purpose. Childish faith is preoccupied with self-interest and gratification. Seasoned faith expresses itself in gratitude.
Jesus’ question directed to his disciples about their faith, or lack there of, often rings in my ears as well. In that moment, I am called back into the sphere of understanding faith in the light of God’s redemptive and transformative intentions for all creation. Seasoned faith recognizes that while God loves and cares for me personally and intimately, I am not God’s only child. I do live in a larger world of vast and desperate needs. When I exercise my faith, selfishly, and insist that God give priority to meeting my needs, without regard to anyone else, whose needs may be far more desperate and urgent, that is, indeed, childish behavior. This is exactly the kind of childishness that I want to put behind me, and begin thinking about faith in its larger dimensions. Rather than thinking in terms of amassing greater and greater quantities of faith, my challenge now is to grow into a fuller and more dynamic understanding of faith.
The Hebrews 11:1 passage, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of things unseen,” is beginning to make more sense to me now. As I understand it, this is not so much a definition of faith as it is an acknowledgement of faith’s actuality. As I consider the actuality of faith, it occurs to me that my life, my humanity, my spirituality, my very being, are all wrapped up in relationship with God. From the beginning and all the way through, it is within the context of that relationship that my faith finds opportunity for expression.
Now, in my mind, my relationship with God and my faith in God are inseparable. I can no longer determine which came first, the relationship or the faith. But, perhaps that is as it should be with seasoned faith.
1 comment:
that was very helpful, thanks dad. i would love to possibly use this in the trinity newsletter; I am going assume that's ok, unless you let me know otherwise...
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